so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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