Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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