I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
