Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
