also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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