so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
