dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
