its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
