He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
