He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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