I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
