what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize