I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
