Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
