Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
