he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
