come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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