I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
