I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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