If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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