my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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