Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
