Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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