Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
