Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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