Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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