She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
