i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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