She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Princesses don't give blow jobs
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
