It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He better not be in your backpack
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
