erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Watching her eat just hurts me
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
