If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
