Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
