The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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