my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
