Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
