The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Found your dick twin last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
