you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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