the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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