allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
