I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
