Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
