Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
