Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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