Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
