also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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