im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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