Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
