literally had 100 drinks last night.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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