We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
