Swine flu. Run for my life!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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